Monday, January 31, 2005

Monday Bunday


Where ARE my gentlemen callers?



Baxter washing her face. Getting ready for a visit with the boys.


Princess Jewel declares that the boys would rather pay homage to her.


Twizzle and Greyton.The ladies have them all confused. "Well....here's another fine mess you've gotten us into." says Greyton,looking much like Oliver Hardy.



Happy Monday Bunday! Can I get some beads for Mardi Gras???

Sunday, January 30, 2005

Ice Capade Part Deux...

Just to let you all in on the exciting doings of suburbia in the dead of winter, This was the highlight of the day. Mr. Nice Neighbor's brother showed up with a big ladder. He was able to dislodge Mrs. Nice Neighbor's sneaker (Used orginally to knock icicles down with) from the roof.


The frozen footwear falls into the hands of Mr. Nice Neighbor.

I know we can all sleep soundly tonight now that this plotline has been remedied.

Saturday, January 29, 2005

The Bun and the Restless...

Greyton was nonchalant about getting to know the new vacuum cleaner. The first night we got it he ignored it and played hard to get. This afternoon when I was cleaning up the living room though he was quite friendly. He kept "chinning" the vacuum-Rabbits have scent glands under their chins so he was marking it as his own.


Greyton's new love connection.

This new infatuation didn't last for long...


But he knows Baxter is upstairs...oh fickle love.

I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For...

Attempted to get U2 tickets this morning....no luck..They even added a second show which was sold out in minutes.Better luck next time...

Friday, January 28, 2005

Postcards from the Edge...

Music has been on my mind a lot for the last few days. Tomorrow I'll be up early so I can make an attempt to get tickets for the upcoming U2 tour. They will be stopping in Philadelphia on May 14th. I think I may have to donate a kidney to get tickets. These tickets will disappear faster than a box of donuts on the Oprah set.

I was talking to some of my students about U2 and a famous concert they gave in Buffalo waaaaaaaaaaay back in the early'80's..("Uh-oh" ,you are saying, "Grandpop is telling his stories again.")

What happened was this- U2 played Shea's Buffalo, I believe in May 1983. Shea's Buffalo was an old movie house/vaudeville theatre built in the 1920's. Sixty years later not much renovation had fallen its way. I saw one of my first concerts there- Adam Ant and Scandal- Feb.11th,1983.(Stop giggling..at least it wasn't REO Speedwagon.)

Back to U2- The entire audience was enthusiastically stomping up and down to "Sunday Bloody Sunday" and other songs. The force of the audience doing this was taking its toll on the old theatre. The balcony was in danger of collapse. Some structural damage was found by the fire department and engineers after the show. It was almost a horrible tragedy. I think the concert was halted temporarily for fear they would bring the building down.

The upside was serious renovation took place on Shea's and it continues to be a great place for cultural events in the city of Buffalo. I'm in the process of digging up some old newspapers from that concert which is famous in Buffalo music history.

So the songs I dig the most from U2:"Bad" "One Tree Hill" "Gloria" "I Will Follow"
"One" (Although every time I hear this I think of Ben Stiller from his old Fox show as Bono singing this while selling "Lucky Charms".)I even like the goofy "Numb".I'm sure next Wednesday I'll be bellowing a rockin' version of "New Years Day" but instead of that title I'll be singing "All is quiiiiiiiet...on Groundhog's Day..." I expect Mrs. Pratt to throw something at my head.

I hope I'll be able to get through on Ticketbastard and get the seats. I'll just do a countdown(much to the horror of any spanish teachers out there)..uno...dos..tres..catorce...

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Turn the Paige...


Princess of Perkiness canned. TLC's "Trading Spaces" has dropped Paige Davis as their host. Her effervescent energy grated on viewers sometimes but I guess they want to do a "different direction" with the show.

I won't miss her same damned dance move she does every time they do the speeded- up- move- furniture- out of- the- room segment. It's the same little dance and kick move.gah!!! ok I'll take a pill now and feel better.

Mrs. Pratt and I would usually watch the show until a Hildy or Doug design would enrage us. We can't stand Ty's new show "Extreme Makeover-Home Edition" and it's companion show "Extreme makeover- how'd they do that"...I'm still waiting for a third spin-off "How did they do 'how'd they do that'.

They really should just rename his show "Building a house for the Terminally Ill" because it seems that every week that's the story -member of family has tumor de jour- get new house.

"Tune in this week to see the Farnssnar family dreams come true- Mr. Farnssnar has been diagnosed with being deceased for several years. Mrs. Farnssnar is afflicted with rickets and webbed feet.Can Ty create the perfect home?"

Our favorite reality telelvision personality is still Samantha Brown - who does stuff for the Travel Channel. We are convinced she has the greatest job in the world.

Samantha is bubbly too, but in a steel cage perky match against Paige who would win?

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Music Maestro...

Because I have been challenged by Pam to talk about music I'll participate in her little music meme...


What's the total amount of music files on your computer?

Too many...less than a bazillion..more than 10.

What was the last CD you bought?
Hmmm...probably The Cars Greatest Hits

What was the last song listened to before getting this message?
Love My Way- The Psychedelic Furs

Write down five songs you often listen to or that mean a lot to you

1. Let Forever Be- The Chemical Brothers
2. Tomorrow Never Knows-The Beatles
3. Beautiful World-Devo
4. Space Age Love Song- A Flock of Seagulls
5. Louise- Human League

Who are you gonna pass this stick to (three persons and why)?
Bozoette, Frankysbride, and Amber I know they will have varied and eclectic choices.


Hmmm..this has inspired me to throw together a "Winter Doldrums" cd mix...anyone interested in one let me know...

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

This Sucks Big Time...

Mrs.Pratt(incredulously):"You're going to blog about the vacuum cleaner?"

She was giving me that look again. The look that says she thinks I'm a complete idiot. But I venture boldly on with my story for you, dear reader, about the vacuum cleaner.

Hoover (yeah we called the vacuum that..oh yeah like you don't with yours...show of hands...)was faithful and dependable for almost a decade. He had daily use. With the multiple rabbits who despite their good litterbox skills...well, there are the occasional marbles, misplaced hay and spilled pellets..doing some vacuuming is part of everyday life for us.

But Hoover started smoking on Saturday.The old engine finally sputtered out, he had n't been well for the last few weeks.
The hard part was breaking the news to Greyton.

Greyton has had a love affair with the vaccum cleaner.No, seriously, I know some pets run from the noise and everything, but he follows it around. Sometimes when it's sitting in a corner he'll flop out next to it. It's very bizarre.I'm sure I mentioned this a few months ago somewhere on my page.


Greyton's first love- and he's doing an impression of Charles Laughton

So tonight we marched off to get a new one.We found a nice model. Greyton and Twizzle were quite curious when we brought the box in the house.


The Lady in Red.

Dutifully, we opened it and were about to put it together...and it was defective. It comes down to a screw to hold the handle that should attach easily through one part but the hole wasn't drilled big enough. GAH!!!!!!!!

Once the cursing subsided and I regained my senses..Greyton looked longingly as his new paramour was placed back in the box to be returned. I got out the trusty dustbuster and he followed me around.I also noticed he was giving the wet mop the eye.

Ice Capade...

We live next door to the Nice Neighbors. During this last snow storm Mr. Nice Neighbor's Nice brother showed up with a snow blower and helped dig out our driveway.

Yesterday morning as I was heating up the car, I saw Mr. Nice Neighbor outside looking up over his front door. Big scary icicles had formed from the roof and they needed to be knocked down before they injured somebody.

When I was young an icicle smashed me in the face once so I understand.

I went into the house and refilled my coffee mug and when I came back out there was Mr. Nice Neighbor with a basketball trying to smash some of the worst ones.
"That's a good idea." I said. I was afraid though that he would smash his upstairs windows and Mrs. Nice Neighbor would make him sleep outside.

Then he pointed out that the basketball was the second thing he was using. The first being one of Mrs. Nice Neighbor's sneakers.He missed the icicles and it landed on the roof.
Frozen footwear.

Mrs. Pratt hopes that Mrs. Nice Neighbor gets to go on a shoe shopping spree this weekend. Until the spring thaw "Beware of Falling Nikes".

I'd Like to Thank the Academy...

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences have announced the nominees for the 77th edition of the Oscars.

My picks for the winners:

Best Picture-Million Dollar Baby
Best Actor-Jamie Foxx-Ray (Paul Giamatti not being nominated for 'Sideways' is a crime)
Best Actress-Hillary Swank-Million Dollar Baby
Best Supporting Actor-Thomas Haden Church- Sideways
Best Supporting Actress-Virginia Madsen-Sideways

Best Director- Clint Eastwood - Million Dollar Baby (this will make up for Clint not winning best director last year for Mystic River)

Best Original Screenplay- Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (Charlie Kaufman)
Best Adapted Screenplay- Sideways (Alexander Payne)

Best Foreign Language film-Downfall
Best Animated Feature- The Incredibles

Art Direction-The Aviator
Cinematography-The Aviator

Costume design- The Aviator (I haven't seen the Aviator but Hollywood will kiss Scorsese's ass and half the film is about Hollywood)

Documentary Feature-Super Size Me (I'm surprised that Farenheit 911 wasn't there...and One Night in Paris)

Film editing-Finding Neverland? no idea.

Make-Up- Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events

Best Original Score- Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (John Williams..an easy pick)

Best Song-well it's either "Accidentally in Love" from Shrek 2 (co-written by Adam Duritz of Counting Crows) or "Learn to be Lonely" from Phantom of the Opera (Andrew Lloyd Webber)No Randy Newman this year!!! Thank you lord. I still like to hear the phrase "Ladies and gentlemen, Academy Award winner, Eminem."

Sound editing- The Incredibles
Visual effects-Spider-Man 2 (What? No Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow?)

Documentary short
Animated short
Live action short- No idea ...There is nowhere to even watch any of these around here.


The fun begins on Feb.27th.

Monday, January 24, 2005

Monday Bunday


Yes? May I help you? Mr. Greyton here. Have a Nice Monday Bunday with some photos featuring Little Miss Baxter.


Baxter advertising her fierceness.


Dinner time!


Baxter..a close-up for her many fans.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Farewell to the King...


From October 1962 until May 1992 he was the King of late night television. 'The Tonight Show' with him hosting was a cornerstone of American television for thirty years. R.I.P. Johnny Carson.

Saturday, January 22, 2005

That's Snow Biz...


A snowy view from my front door.


Prattmobile buried. As of 5:45PM we have 8 inches of snow.


"Get me freezing ass in the house befer I turn ye into a toad." says angry yard gnome.


Greyton gets to play with a snowball."Hmmmm.Where's Twizzle?"

Friday, January 21, 2005

SuperManicMarket...

The trip to the grocery store before our oncoming snowstorm was everything I expected it to be: A complete devotion to the Church of Chicken Little.

The local televison stations try not to hype the forecast as much as they used to but one station in particular had the balls to "name" the winter storms a few years ago. It was heavily ridiculed. "Spotty Drizzle Dave?" "Gusty wind Phil?" "Light snow flurries Bob?" Their latest entry into asshatterrific forecasting is the 5 levels of snow storms.


It's Major!Our suggestions for the five categories include 1. Fluffy 2. Good Snowman Building 3. No School! No Work! What? It's Saturday? Shit. 4. There better be booze in this house. 5. Get naked with your significant other. If single -improvise.

So with this mindset propelled by the media of course it sends the grasshoppers out instead of the ants.

As we pulled into the parking lot practically every space was taken. The last time I saw it that bad was in the last minute shopping rush before Christmas Eve.

Every shopping cart was in use..so Mrs. P. and I got two baskets and split up- I got the ample supply of greens and carrots for the bunnies, she got a few shnacky-shnacks for the weekend.

I took my time and was non rushed about my duties.I noticed that many people were stressed out in a Last days of Pompeii vein. After filling my basket and looking for Mrs. Pratt I kept my eyes and ears open to the hysteria that was known as Aisle 4.

A young couple were loading a cart with soups. Not one can but close to twenty.
The guy blurted out "Oranges..we need oranges too!" with all the desperation of someone who owed Marsellus Wallace money. All through the store people drove their shopping carts with all the skill of Dale Earnhardt on the last lap. Not watching where they were going. I was sideswiped by a family of four and suffered elbow trauma due to the sharp edge of a CrunchBerries box.

I met up with Mrs. Pratt who showed me the practically empty deli case- more picked over than Paris Hilton at a gynecological exam. Some lone olive loaf stood vigil. All we wanted was cheese so settled on the packaged kind.

We didn't need bread, but in that aisle I could have sworn I saw tumbleweeds roll down those vacant shelves.

We remembered we had to pick up the package of hot dogs for the elderly neighbor.
And with our shopping done, realized as we stood in the mammoth lines at checkout we were the only people who did not have milk,bread,or eggs in our selections.

The bunnies appreciated the fresh greens and carrots and as we hunker down for a snowy Saturday Mrs.Pratt has just brought me a warm mug of spiced apple wine, with a dash of cranberry juice and goldschlagger in it. Let it snow. Let it snow. Let it snow.

Batten Down the Hatches...

Doooooorthy! There's a storm a-brewing. So the weather forecasters are predicting about a foot of snow to dump on our area tomorrow.

After work shall be interesting. I need to go to the grocery store. We are out of greens and carrots and those bunnies will be giving me the stink-eye if their daily chow line is interrupted.

Now I'm hoping that the genreal public doesn't have a case of blind panic that usually accompanies a big snow in this area, when all the bread and milk are cleaned out in the store.

Good samaritan that I am on occasion, I happened to see an elderly neighbor getting her newspaper this morning and asked if she needed anything from the grocery store tonight before the big snow. Milk? Bread? Oxygen?

"Hot Dogs." she said.

Ok, I asked if there was a particular brand she needed.

"Beef- I had the turkey once I don't like the turkey hot dogs....."

What followed was a fifteen minute discussion on the bad taste of turkey hot dogs and how she remembered a time when all hot dogs were beef and I started zoning out but heard only snippets then

"Blah blah blah blah..and Amelia Earhart showed up for lunch with Herbert Hoover and blah blah blah blah..I didn't know Eddie Cantor had a mole there..blah blah blah....so that's why my father fought the Kaiser in the Great War... I prefer the beef hot dogs with my lunch."

Oh and all this while the temperature was -1 F. I was colder than a Gest -Minelli divorce hearing.

"Ok ...well we'll bring the groceries by after work." I said, my face looking like I had joined Blue Man Group.

To Be continued...

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Reading Minds...




Hillary:"That WILL be ME up there in four years! ME.ME.ME. Are you pondering what I'm pondering Bill?"

Bill:" Hey them thar Bush Twins are mighty fine..Miiiiii-t-fine. Narf."

Rosalynn Carter: "It's just no fun without Betty and Lady Bird here."

Jimmy:"I hope the viewing stands I built hold up."

Take the Inauguration Day Quiz...

Get out your thinking caps. Rub the sleep from your eyes. Sober up.

Time to take an Inauguration Day quiz from The Blog of Pratt!

1.Inauguration day is Jan.20th. Originally it was determined to be what day?___

A. July 4th.
B. March 4th.
C. Cinco de Mayo.
D. When Cheney sees his shadow.

2. The oath of office is administered to the President and Vice President by ___

A. Simon Cowell.
B. The head of the Illuminati.
C. Chief Justice of the Supreme Court
D. Ralph Wiggum.

3. Which of the following words will not be found in the oath of office?____

A. Blog
B. Skank
C. Surreal
D. yeeeeehaw
E. All of the Above.

4.Celebrations after the official swearing -in ceremonies include __

A. Formal receptions from the various States.
B. Tequila drinking contest with Bush Twins.
C. Clinton wet T-shirt soiree.
D. Vote recount..one last time..did they look everywhere in Ohio??? Damn.

5. Historically,the President -elect visits the outgoing president on Inauguration Day to do what?___

A. Have Coffee in the White House.
B. Chance to use the 'black light'test in Clinton bedroom.
C. Get instructions on what to say and do for the next 8 years from Cheney.
D. Sit in uncomfortable silence as their wives make phony small talk.

6.Which quote was not used during a Presidential Inaugural address__

A."The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."
B."Ask not what your country can do for you.Ask what you can do for your country."
C."A thousand points of light."
D."I declare this Hooters open for business!"

7. Not every President has enjoyed the festivities of Inauguration Day. Who wasn't sworn in at the Capitol.___

A. Calvin Coolidge.
B. Gerald Ford.
C. Chester A. Arthur.
D. Nancy Reagan.

8. Security for today Inauguration includes___

A. Gunboats on the Potomac.
B. No-fly zone over Washington D.C.
C. Thousands of police.
D. Closing of fast food restaurants for Michael Moore.

9. Presidents traditionally visit this place before the Inauguration ceremony ____

A. St. John''s Episcopal Church.
B. Der Waffle House.
C. Mordor.
D. The can. Those damn waffles go right through ya.

10. The cost of today's Inauguration___

A. Will be covered once Cheney gets back from his Celebrity Poker gig.
B. A stingy 18 million dollars.
C. Not bad with the 10% discount coupon from Party City.
D. Half the nation's souls.


Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Take Me To Your Carrots...


This is a recent photo from the Huygen probe on Saturn's moon Titan.Look who shows up! Photo courtesy of Mr. Snappy. Please welcome your new Bunny Overlords.

Second Term...

Just in time for the Inaugeration, JibJab does it again.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Lead Pipe Cinch...

I love the way nature works sometimes. The universe just sometimes has a harmonious balance for me. No, I didn't watch another Star Trek marathon....ok maybe parts of III..I mean the Enterprise blows up for chrissakes! And a little of IV until Scotty says "There be whales here.." and well anyway I'm already off topic ....no I'm thankful that forces of nature prevent me from seeing some things detrimental to my well being.

Example#1:
Joan and Melissa Rivers have returned to the red carpet for their fashion reviews. They are on the TV Guide Channel now not E!

My cable system does not offer me the TV Guide Channel. So on Golden Globes night No Rivers ran through my television set. I was so happy.Joan continues to get plastic surgery that has her looking more like a Rhesus Monkey. Melissa is also beginning to look like the gatekeeper to Scaryville.Desperate housewives indeed.
But the No Joan zone is one instance of the universe making me happy.

Exmaple#2:
There have been very arctic-like temperatures here in Philadelphia for the last day or so. It will continue into tomorrow. Despite a childhood of snow and cold in Buffalo, I really hate winter. So it would have to be a really good reason for me to venture out on these frigid nights.

And damn it...Tonya Harding is boxing at a local nightclub.

Yeah, the professional sporting world's equivalent of a train wreck..no wait that's the NHL right now...and Ricky Williams...and Jason Giambi..and Ron Artest..ok so um...the bad girl of women's figure skating is now a bad ass boxer.

I was so caught up in the whole Tonya Harding saga. It was reality tv before it came into vogue.I miss hearing the word Gillooly nightly on the news.

So Tonya is going to battle a local female wrestler in a nightclub. I suppose If I want to relive 1994 I can just catch the next round of I Love the 90's shows on VH1. This cold weather will keep me from attending.

With my luck, Joan and Melissa will be Ring girls.

Two Stars...

The news today has reports of the deaths of 1940's actress Virginia Mayo and soap star Ruth Warrick.

Virginia Mayo co-starred with Bob Hope and Danny Kaye in some memorable comedies and showed her flair for drama in "The Best Years of Our Lives" and the classic James Cagney film "White Heat".

Ruth Warrick started her career in "Citizen Kane" , handpicked by Orson Welles to be Emily Kane. She then found success on the small screen as Pine Valley matriarch,Phoebe Tyler Wallingford.

Each actress brought glamour and class to any role they approached.They may not have been in the same A list as Bette Davis or Katherine Hepburn, but gave the fans of movies and television some memorable roles.

Monday, January 17, 2005

Monday Bunday


Hello..my dear guests welcome to Monday Bunday. I am Mr. Greyton your host. Smiles Everyone! Smiles!


Princess Jewel in another regal photo.


Little Miss Baxter posing for her fans.


If there was Maxim for Bunnies she would be on the cover..um..would it be called Bunxom?


She loves the camera...*chomp*


Twizzle hanging out by the hearth with yummy treats to gnaw on.


I hope you enjoyed your Monday Bunday. Time for a little snooze-day til Tuesday.

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Upon Further Review...


Yeah...about my football prediction...just ignore that. Eagles 27 Vikings 14.

Atlantic City by the Numbers...

80.5 miles-Miles from the Prattcave to Atlantic City..

$0-Cost of Parking at casino.Thank you comp. card.

$100-Amount we planned to spend on slots.

4 hours-Time spent at slot machines

1 hour-Time spent at dinner.

1-Number of Labatt's Blue beer ordered with dinner.

10.Number of minutes of ridicule dished out by Mrs. P.for ordering said beer.Her exact words to me: "What are you, Canadian?"

1-Number of Waitresses who also hailed from the same area I grew up in and said like I did in my defense it was the beer of choice if you grew up there.

Ha!Vindicated!

$60 -amount we went home with above our $100.


5,396,358-number of senior citizens we saw in the casinos.

Cadaver-Median age of those senior citizens.

1-Lighthouses we drove by.

1-Lighthouses we didn't stop at.

23-Number of degrees in Farenheit the temperature was which is why we didn't stop at a Lighthouse.

4-Rabbits who wondered where the hell we were all afternoon and could we please hurry up and make the dinner salad?

Friday, January 14, 2005

For the Birds...

The city of Philadelphia has started to get a little excited this weekend because the Eagles are two games away from the Super Bowl. Sunday they play the Minnesota Vikings.Then if they win that contest they move on to the NFC Championship Game(which the Eagles have the unfortunate habit of losing 3 years in a row).

Now my blog is not usually testosterone festooned and you won't be bored with a discourse of nickel defense or run and shoot.

But (looks around cautiously) dare I say it...I think the Eagles will lose Sunday.

Somewhere a diehard fan from another part of the city is choking on his cheesesteak at this prediction, but honestly.... You know the history and the heartbreak.

Growing up in Buffalo,NY. and a Bills fan, I am no stranger to endless years of crushing pro football defeat.So I get a sixth sense about it.

"I see losing football teams."

T.O.(Terell Owens) is out with an injury. The Eagles barely showed up for the last two games of the season. They haven't played a meaningful football game in about a month. Brian Westbrook is a weapon but you know extra coverage will be on him. Donovan McNabb will have to rely on his fancy footwork a lot...oh and probably Chunky Soup.

I just feel they are rusty,will try too hard, and before you know it Minnesota will upset the Birds.

Watching tv tonight the local news showed photos of fans dressed in eagles gear showing team spirit. One photo was of a two week old baby in a tiny Eagles jersey.Awwwwww.

Mrs.Pratt:"They haven't won since you've been born!" she shouted at the tv.

Yeah ...the bandwagon won't be stopping at our house.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

I Walk with Zombies..and get a side salad....

Mrs. Pratt and I decided to go out and grab something to eat and while we were out we had to stop by the pet supply store for a 30 lb. bag of Yesterday's News the best litter for the rabbits.

I look forward now visiting the pet supply store because over the last few months we've witnessed an amazing transformation of the owner's daughter.

A year ago she was quite a preppy little girl. Well dressed and not a hair out of place. Then a few months ago- the hair looked mussed the eyeliner was on thicker.More earrings appeared.The music over the radio near the cash register evolved from Hillary Duff to Slipknot.

As the months went by, various piercings and tattoos emerged. It was always something more radical than the last visit. The last time I was there she was getting a guitar lesson from a dude named 'Zane'(her cellphone rang while I was in the store and shopgirl was explaing to a friend that 'Zane is making her learn his music')Zane was the palest boy you've ever seen with dreadlocks. He was teaching her the riff to Stairway to Heaven.*sigh*

Anyway I act all excited at what possible transformation shopgirl will undergo next.

Me:"She'll probably be drinking whiskey from a human skull!!"

Mrs.Pratt: "You are a such an idiot."

But then as I entered the store my hopes were dashed.The store owner was there. I sullenly get the bag of litter and depart.

Now we had to get some dinner. A Boston Market was nearby. We noticed the parking lot full and the queue stretched out the door like a Soviet bread line.

We get in line, ok it wasn't that bad, an elderly man on his portable scooter was trying to get in the restaurant. He sideswiped a few tables and went over to the side of the room while his wife SHOUTED to him what he would like to eat.

"YOU WANT CHICKEN JACK?" in Ethel Merman-like tones.
Jack mumbled something. "CHICKEN? HOW ABOUT CHICKEN?" mumble mumble "TURKEY?"

I smiled my 'I am writing about this smile'.We scanned the crowd. A man at the register was paying for a dinner and his hair didn't fit. He was wearing a hair piece. It was so obvious. It seemed askew, and the bald patches were showing up. Several muskrats decided that his scalp would be the perfect place to ball.

Behind us a father and child walked in. Very cute. Except for the most tubercular cough I've heard emit from the child's mouth. This little girl sounded like an '82 Plymouth Acclaim starting up on a cold morning.

Muskrat Man left and I think out of the corner of my eye I caught him testing the direction of the wind before he headed outside.

We were about to order but Jack's wife was still figuring out what to order for side dishes."JACK? GREEN BEANS? SWEET POTATOES?" I wanted to use my ventriloquist voice and say "Poison." "HOW ABOUT GRAVY?" She moved on...

Huzzah! Our turn to order!

"Hellomayitakeyourorder." The guy didn't blink.He looked right through you. His voice a mere whisper. Mrs. Pratt ordered the chicken carver sandwich and he repeated what she said "Turkeyturkeycarver." huh?

He was a Zombie. He had to be . The walking undead. And working for minimum wage.

"No, Chicken" she said. I wanted to do my impression of Jack's wife and shout "CHICKEN!".

I gave him my order too. Still not blinking. He was stumbling to gather a plate together with my side dishes and then was holding the knife to carve the chicken.Eeee knives! Zombies with knives! He's going to want to eat me brain!

At this moment I expected the Voodoo Priest Mogobo to leap from the back room, chant, shake a death rattle at me and continue the zombification of our counter guy.

Mrs. Pratt had me check my dinner plate just in case his crack pipe fell into my meal.

Little Miss Hacking Cough meanwhile is doing just that all over the front sneeze guard.Thank you space age plastic.

I wish Zane was there to write a song about it for shopgirl.

Ay ay ay..No es Bueno...


Ay ay ay...No Me Gusta! The voices who dub The Simpsons throughout Latin America may be out of a job! Que lastima!

What happened to the Bread Box?

I know many of you read blogs through your jobs and if you are extremely bored today you can try playing a few rounds of Twenty Questions with a computer. Think of something animal,vegetable, or mineral and let the computer guess what it is based on its questions.

The old chestnut 'Is it bigger than a bread box ?" is replaced with "Is it larger than a microwave oven?". At which point I'm like - what? huh? No bread box? Does anyone own a bread box anymore? We own a bread box! Are they too old fashioned? Can I drink an old fashion? Why am I asking so many questions? Is it a stand alone microwave or one built in above the stove? How many watts? But suddenly I get my regular cup of coffee and life is beautiful.


And yes, in case you are wondering, the first thing I tried with the game was Bunny.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Not Forever...

It was announced that the Strawberry Field Children's home, the orphanage that inspired the Beatles song "Strawberry Fields Forever" is to be closed.

Keep Feelin' Caffination...

It's a groggy Wednesday and the tempting lure of a good cup of coffee is keeping me going. Normally the cafeteria here at work has an adequate brew which keeps me happy and functioning from 9-5.

For the second day in a row they have been "out" of regular coffee.

What do you mean out? Doesn't the university get pounds of it? tons?

I was told the supply just hasn't reached this side of the campus.Maybe later today.

I stare at the options left.

French Roast which tastes likes NASA had some leftover Shuttle fuel lying around.

Decaf French Roast- All the taste of turpentine but less caffeine!

Then the flavored coffee.Flavored coffee is nice maybe on a cold snowy evening when you build a fire in the fireplace and are stewing in a chair with a good book. But for the daily jolt of java it just doesn't cut it.

They had Gingerbread Spice. I tasted a sample. It was more like Scary Spice....or Sporty...definitely not Posh.mmmm Posh Spice..little black dress...mmm. Oh damn I was talking about coffee..sorry about that.

I throw caution to the wind and get a cup of the French Roast. Throughout the morning I suffer through it's acrid aftertaste. My co-workers notice I'm making strange faces after each sip- like I've been forced to sit through a 'Full House' marathon or something.

Gah. I need real coffee. I scout out the carafe some of the librarians use..and one offers me some. URK* more flavored coffee that's so bad the advertising slogan should be "Good to the last drop dead!"

I return to the cafeteria for lunch and stiill no real coffee shows up. There are other bean junkies milling about too looking forelorningly at the place where the regular coffee usually sits. We exchange glances that convey our sense of loss. Juan Valdez we hardly knew ye...

So I'll try to plod through the rest of my day without my friend Coffee. Maybe I'll just have to take one for the team and get a second cup of French Roast.

But when I get home the Pratt house becomes Maxwell House.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

All's Well that Blackwell..

Mr. Blackwell, Hollywood fashion critic, has released his annual list of worst-dressed stars.

Bart Simpson said it best about the man once: "He is SUCH a bitch."

Three Things...

I don't usually do a lot of meme's on here...but my friend Bozoette has challenged me so here goes: The Three Things List :

The questions are courtesy of LA the Sage.

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY
1) Michael
2) Pratt
3) Bunny Boy

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD ::
1) Rabbit Guy
2) Prattoons
3) Doc

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF ::
1) I can make people laugh
2) I have a scary memory for obscure trivia
3) I'm a good listener.

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF ::
1) I worry too much about things I can’t control.
2) I procrastinate.
3) I can be shy in person

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE :
1) English
2) Irish
3) French Vanilla( oh wait that’s ice cream)

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU ::
1) Heart Failure
2) Ashlee Simpson,Paris Hilton, Britney
3) Nosy Neighbors.

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS ::
1) coffee
2) music
3) rabbits

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW ::
1) Pants.*whew*
2) Glasses.
3) Rabbit Ring

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS (at the moment)::
1) Mr. Brightside by the Killers
2) Kareoke Supernova- Ben Folds Five
3) Legal Tender- The B-52’s

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS :
1) Try to have my writing or artwork published.
2) Get Baxter to be friends with Greyton and Twizzle
3) The Kama Sutra

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP ::
1) Laughter
2) Sense of Fun
3) Great sex (yeah, I said it too!)

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (Ah but which order?)::
1) I played college football.
2) Won a Halloween contest dressed as the Church Lady from SNL.Isn’t that special?
3) I did Tequila shots off a stripper’s chest.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU ::
1) Eyes
2) Smile
3) Breasts (unabashed boob man-local 512)

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE SAME SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU ::
1) ability to open beer bottle with teeth
2) a foot capable of kicking a winning field goal
3) eyes that notice the hot girl before you and he clues you in where she is

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO ::
1) juggle
2) fix a car
3) eat beets.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES ::
1) Writing
2) Drawing
3) Reading

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW ::
1) get more coffee
2) go home
3) Find a new job

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING ::
1) Novelist
2) Librarian
3) Hedonist

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION ::
1) Vegas
2) Key West
3) Canada

THREE KID'S NAMES ::
1) Greyton
2) Twizzle
3) Baxter

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE ::
1) perform on stage again
2) return to Hawaii
3) Find that stripper with the tequila again..

THREE WAYS I AM STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY ::
1) Me like Football and baseball.
2) I enjoy seeing women in bikinis or less.
3) Afraid of going to the doctor’s.

THREE WAYS I AM STEREOTYPICALLY A CHICK ::
1) I enjoy romantic comedies.
2) I can shop 'til I drop.
3) I dig gossip

THREE CELEB CRUSHES ::
1) Gina Schock (drummer of the go-go’s)
2) Jenny McCarthy
3) Eva Longoria

THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW ::
1) Damn I think everyone I know has taken this!
2)
3)

A-heh-heh-heh.....


I forgot to mention Mrs. Pratt had a lovely time with her cult..um...Lighthouse group. She saw seven lighthouses in 36 hours and was thrilled. She did think of poor me and the blog. While in Salem, Mass. she passed by this liquor store. I think Beavis was behind the counter.

Karma Kicks My Ass...

So I write a silly story about Bag Lady who throws in her trash and recycling with ours and guess what...I get home from work last night(It was a trash day) The trash can was there but my recycle bin was gone. Missing. Nowhere to be seen.

Now Bag Lady has a trash can and recycle bin of her own on the side of the house she never uses so I suppose I have to use hers if mine doesn't turn up.

Karma is a bitch.

Monday, January 10, 2005

Monday Bunday...


Greyton and Twizzle on friendly terms.


Princess looks out over her kingdom.


Baxter redecorates her room.

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Bag Lady...

I look out the window overlooking my street.It's quiet and only Mr. Bad Wrench is out polishing his car...in January..whatever.

I remember that tomorrow is trash day and lug the big can out to the front of the house with the recycle bin. It's not too full now, but when I pull out of the driveway every Monday I notice extra trash in the can and recycling.

The Bag Lady has been there.

I've discussed several of my neighbors in previous episodes of the blog..we have Mr. and Mrs. Nice Neighbor: the most normal people we know on the block, nosy Mrs. Kravitz,and Mr. Bad Wrench: the man who loves his car a little too much. We also have Mr. Bald Guy- who- lives- nearby- who- we -wave- to- sometimes- but- have- never- made- an -effort- to -say- hello- or- introduce- ourselves.We have the family of 18 Chinese house painters who park 4- 5 colossal trucks loaded with ladders and paint cans in the street.And then there is Bag Lady.

Now Bag Lady is not the best name for her.But it is in this situation. She is a very nice woman who is pleasant to me and Mrs. Pratt and despite being in her 80's and having a live-in boyfriend in his 90's she's still an independent lady....

...WHO STEALS OUR TRASH SERVICE.

Ok here's the thing- we have to pay a nice yearly fee for our trash service which is pretty reliable.They come twice a week. Mondays and Thursdays.

Usually it's the crack of dawn on Monday morning if I happen to look out my bedroom window and I see a shadowy figure in a leopard coat and heels shuffling to our trash can.

BAG LADY!

Then she looks around as if to see if the coast is clear before throwing it into our can. She then brings out her recycling.Dumps it in our bin.

But soon every Monday I started noticing her clandestine trips to my trash can.

I broached the matter with Mrs. Pratt. Oh sure I say, we pay for the yearly service and she gets a free ride. Mrs. Pratt reminded me I was being an insensitive idiot and to call Home Depot to get the board out of my ass.

Mrs.Pratt:"She's an old lady! She can't be shoving the big trash can out front herself."

Me:"I'd offer to do it. She's scamming our trash service from us."

And I did next time I saw her I offered to put her trash can out weekly but she said "No No oh that's ok.."She had a nervous laugh.

I held back the urge to shout back all Law and Order style: "Because my trash can is an easy mark? Isn't that right Old Lady? Isn't It? Why buy the cow when the milk is free? How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?"(Maniacal laughter.)


The other scenario is to hide behind the trash bin in the morning and when she comes out with her bag of tin cans I will jump up and go "BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!" OK... so giving the elderly a coronary thrombosis may not be a good thing, but it sends a message people!!

But like I said I didn't do that. Mrs. Pratt says to let it go and I have made my peace with the situation. So now Monday mornings it becomes like a Animal Planet show which I narrate for Mrs. Pratt.

Me:(Crocodile Hunter voice) "Crikey! It's 6:30am and the elusive ancient Bag Lady is making her way from her habitat and to the trash can! Wait! Look! There she is...quiet now..don't startle the old girl...she has old egg cartons and banana peels there! Check out the leopard coat! Blimey!The migration is the same every Monday morning."

Mrs. Pratt: "You are so weird.Bring me coffee."

I suppose the old saying is true. "One man's Trash is ...well, the old lady's too".

Saturday, January 08, 2005

Elvis is Everywhere...

Today would have been Elvis Presley's 70th birthday. Now I'm not such a crazed Elvis fan to celebrate THIS certain King holiday but I cranked up one of my favorite songs to start my day: Mojo Nixon and Skid Roper's Elvis is Everywhere The link provided has the lyrics of the track with some great pics. For any one who got the Blog of Pratt Cd Swag at JournalCon 2004 it was on there.

On American Movie Classics they are having their King for a Day movie marathon Elvis made plenty of movies. Some good... most cheesy. But if your only knowledge of Mr. Presley is just a big guy in a white jumpsuit check some of them out.

Now for the really off-beat find yourself a copy of Bubba Ho-Tep with Bruce Campbell and Ossie Davis. Elvis lives in a Texas rest home and fights mummies.Really.

Peruse this transcript of Nicholas Cage's Tiny Elvis skit for Saturday Night Live.


Pay a visit to The Flying Elvi.

Even the rabbits are joing the festivities...

Twizzle says "Viva Las Lettuce!"


Greyton napping very much in a latter day Elvis pose "zzzzzzzzzzz thankya...thankyavermuch..zzzzzz"

Time to go make a peanut butter and banana sandwich. Elvis IS everywhere.

Friday, January 07, 2005

They are On a Break!...

Shocking pop culture news that Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt have anounced they are separating! Gee, I wonder if either of them will be able to find someone new?

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Purple Gookie...

The on- demand TV service MagRack has declared that Jimi Hendrix is the winner of the musician with the "best guitar face" noting the intensity with which he played his instrument. In my opinion,the most intense musical artist is this reknowned gentleman.


Honk! Honk!

Go Towards the Light...

Mrs. Pratt is leaving for the weekend to meet up with her cult...um..er...I mean her fellow fans of Lighthouses to do a tour of New England Lighthouses. She'll be in Connecticut and Massachusetts all together checking out about seven or eight Lighthouses.

This is a solo trip for her and she will hang out with her LH crowd. Yeah... she feels the same way about the blogging community..interested but slightly afraid of you.

Yet after being together for so long, Mrs. Pratt and I have an understanding of being up in each other's grills and forcing our hobbies upon each other.So bon voyage to her. Enjoy the Lighthouses. Marvel at them. Take a bazillion photographs to add to our hallway. She hangs a photo after each visit.


There are 38 so far...yes..38.

So it's a bachelor weekend for me and the Rabbits. The only rules Mrs. Pratt is laying down is "Don't play ball in the house " and "Clean up your art table".

My art table is a collection of cartoons,artwork, books,assorted magazines,cd's dvds..it's a general mess which I need to excavate. Maybe I'll finish some stuff to post online.

But I'll be home throughout the weekend and probably bored silly...so to friends who have my number give me a call and say hello or something. Send an e-mail..or use semaphore flags and smoke signals.

I'll leave the light on...

Step Away from the Tastykake...

Men's Fitness magazine has released their rankings of the fittest and fattest cities. Philadelphia has bounced back up to #2 after being #7 last year. Houston was #1.

Given all the culinary delights(Cheesesteaks,pretzels,scrapple) and good restaurants in Philly it's no surprise we are up there.

Seattle and Honolulu are #1 and #2 for Fittest cities.

I'm trying to lose some weight this year...time to run up the Art Museum steps like Rocky Balboa.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Screwy Wabbits...

I slept on the living room couch last night. No, Mrs. Pratt didn't banish me there for some silly misdeed. We were going to sleep for the night when suddenly from downstairs we heard a tremendous noise. Since Mrs. Pratt cannot be moved once she goes to sleep it was up to me to investigate.

Greyton and Twizzle were chasing each other at full speed from the living through the kitchen. Occasionally it was Greyton chasing Twizzle then Twizzle would chase Greyton.

When I arrived downstairs I didn't say "What's Up, Doc?" but "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TWO DOING????"

Greyton had that amourous look in his eye again for poor little Twizzle and proceeded to try the horizontal mambo with him. I had to keep pulling him off Twizzle. Then Twizzle decided to start chasing Greyton around some more which made the Big G more excited. AAAAAAARGH.They were upstairs earlier and I guess he was nosing around and got Baxter's scent again.

I go down to the basement to get the portable pen and set it up to seperate the two before they change their names to Siegfried and Roy and do a fabulous Tiger show in Vegas.

Twizzle now safely penned had to put up with Greyton running around the enclosure making a buzzing noise. He was one horny hare. Greyton then ran upstairs to see if Princess or Baxter were around but they were sleeping. No bunny booty calls for him. He had so much energy which always shocks me becuase for years he has been a big loaf.

So I'm wide awake on the sofa taking note of the whole ordeal of the rabbit version of the Kinsey Report.

Greyton was up about 5am again and running around...He calmed down after a breakfast carrot and when I let Twizzle out of his pen this morning the two hung out in the bathroom together as if nothing had happened.

But I could have sworn Greyton was smoking a cigarette.

An Innovator...


Will Eisner, one of the pioneers of the comic book industry, creator of The Spirit and called the "father of the graphic novel" has died at 87.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

JournalCon 2005...

Dear fellow bloggers and online journalers,

It's 2005...Has anybody heard anything about the location of JournalCon 2005? Any news,gossip or rumors would be greatly appreciated. I met so many cool people and made some good friends at the 2004 JournalCon. I hope it continues...

In Search of Jenny...

I love '80's music, and courtesy of my friend Clive ,he sent me this link to a page where a guy dialed every area code and 867-5309 (For those not up on 80's music, there was a song by Tommy Tutone and that phone number was the chorus looking for Jenny,Jenny.)You can see his results on his website.

Monday, January 03, 2005

Monday Bunday


Twizzle in a sunbeam.


Blue eyed bunny Princess Jewel.


This has to be one of the best photos we have of Princess. She looks very regal here.


Greyton taking his afternoon siesta.


Baxter is getting quite mature. Have a good Monday!

Sunday, January 02, 2005

Flipping Out...

Today was the last day of vacation for me before it's back to work. I'll have to get to work extra early becuase after being off for so long I will have such a mountain in my 'In' box that I should rename myself Sir Edmund Hillary.

Mrs. Pratt is in the last few days of her holiday job. Leaving me to kick around the Prattcave. I did some laundry.Watched football games that didn't matter.Thought about going out to the mall but it's been rainy and just a sucky stay in a chair and read a book day. I did however practice my channel flipping skills.

I'm very skilled at channel flipping.Flip flip. When I do it too much Mrs. Pratt goes from the Look of Death to Screech of Death.Flippy flip.It doesn't bother me. It's the way my brain works.Flip flip flip flip.

I can really go through channels fast and determine what's worth watching in a split second...In my defense also- Television these days has earned a degree of mediocrity that doesn't just keep me glued to one show. flipflipflipflip.
The late comedian Fred Allen said "Television is a medium becuase any thing well-done is rare."

Mrs. Pratt will usually tell me: "Read the damn tv section first! Stop channel flipping!"

Me:Oh, Relax.flipflipflipflipflippy flipflipflipflipflippity flipflip....flipflip

Mrs. Pratt: "AAARRRRRRRRRGH!" or something along those lines which choicer curse words.

Even if she was in the kitchen and I'm barreling through the channels she 'll bark out for me to stop channel flipping. She has that uncanny wife hearing.

Determined to flip my genius idea now is to put the sound on MUTE then it's flipflipflipflipflipflipflipflippy flip flipflipflippity flippy flip..

If she walks back into the room I'll stop at whatever I'm at but my luck usually has her looking at the screen asking,
"Why are you watching that chessy Lifetime movie?"

"Um ..er...well I miss seeing Valerie Bertenelli onscreen."

She usually doesn't buy my excuse.I get the stink eye a lecture on the evils of channel flipping..AMEN.

But then she walks back into the kitchen...
FLIPPY FLIP FLIP FLIP FLIPPITY FLIP FLIP.

It's amusing when we sit down to watch a program together. We each eye the remote ...fingers itchy to grasp it..."Throw me the idol..I'll throw you the Remote." I can hear her saying to Indiana Pratt. Then a giant boulder crushes me and she gets to watch what she wants to watch.

I'm sure when I tell her that I devoted today's post to my annoying habit the response will be what I expect: She'll flip me off.

Saturday, January 01, 2005


Happy New Year from Baxter.

Dining a la The O.C. ...

I regained consciousness...um...woke up this morning after a fun New Years. Mrs. Pratt and I were utterly delighted that while flipping channels after Midnight last night that Country Music Television, a channel we love to mock, had a two hour tribute to the 40 Greatest Drinking Songs. We found this to be hillarious especially after cocktails and champagne.

The show was hosted by Wynonna and I wondered whether this was filmed before or after her DUI. We marvelled at the horrible god awful country music tunes. Even more amusing was the commentary from other artists and a "country music historian" whose commentary on every other track was "I get choked up thinking about this song." I got choked up at that music too ..well country music always makes me gag.

So while spending the first hours of the New Years heckling rednecks and white trash we crashed and later in the day went to our local diner. I always try to be extra attentive in the diner for any possible blog characters lurking about.

We were seated in a back room. There were two tables occupied. One of them were some grandparents and their noisy kids. Just what our hangover headaches so enjoyed. At another table was a mother and son who totally reminded me of Ricky Smith and his Mother from one of my favorite movies Better Off Dead.

I was focused on Ricky and Mother when suddenly the diner hostess ushered in three people and sat them very close to our table. I could have sworn it was Ryan, Marissa, and Seth from the O.C.They were stylish youngsters and ordered Black and White milkshakes and cheese fries.

Mrs. P. and I are finishing dinner and you can't help but overhear the cool kids conversation since they are literally a foot away.These are actual conversations:

Marissa:"I heard from Steve..he's jealous you guys bought me underwear for christmas."

Seth:"Steve's a tool."

Ryan:"Yeah a tool.He was text messaging Rachel all night last night."

Marissa:"I knew it. I thought I was the only one he wanted.I think I'll go to California this summer without him."

I just smiled knowlingly at Mrs. Pratt. We were finishing up but I wanted to hear more so got another cup of coffee.."Shhh.." , I said, "I want to see what happens next on the O.C."

Marissa:"My dad had no idea I was drinking Jack and coke all night. He thought I was sipping soda through a straw."

Ryan:"You're dad threatened to kill me once for having you out so late."

Marissa:"My dad is all talk. He wouldn't do anything. He was probably drunk."

Seth:"My dad gets stupid like that too when he's drunk like at Phillies game."

Ryan:"Yeah My Dad too..We were at a Phillies game with a big rain delay and he was so drunk.He started a fight.Man..Parents."

I was hoping that Peter Gallagher's Sandy Cohen character would show up and make the scene..or at least hear a Jimmy Eat World song to wrap up this teenage angst.

But we couldn't loiter any longer. It made my day finding some characters to start off 2005.